My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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