do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I need a burrito and a hug.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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