I am puke
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I need a burrito and a hug.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
