It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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