It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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