Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize