I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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