my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
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I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
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I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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