Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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