I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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