Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
