he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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