That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
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I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
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You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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