Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
