I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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