the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
