I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
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I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
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What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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