you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize