I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
