So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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