I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
