I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
