What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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