Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
this will be a night to untag.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
