Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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