dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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