When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
