just tell him i said nine months
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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