i just google imaged poop.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
