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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side

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• (512): View more from Texas

  New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America

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• (909): View more from California

  I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (909): View more from California

  Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?

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• (760): View more from California

  I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.

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