if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE