yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
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we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
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Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.