Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
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They took my balls.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
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he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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