I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
