Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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