Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize