oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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