Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
