hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
