Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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