I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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