Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Mom said you looked used
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
