A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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