They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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