the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
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According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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