What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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