This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize