he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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