My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
