2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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