mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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