guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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