At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
