I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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