if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
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Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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