But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
