i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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