it hurts more in the daytime
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
