Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
