I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize