hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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