I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I need a beard to bite.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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