he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize