It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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