you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
