Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
