I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
