At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize