So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked and annoyed.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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