I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
