my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
