I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
