He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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